Thursday, March 29, 2007

Position Available

I am going to admit to something that I am ashamed of. I am a hypocrite. I despise them, yet I find myself being one. For two reasons. One, I hate when people make lame excuses for things, which I am about to do. Two, I used to laugh about these people and now I am one. Back in high school, I thought it was ridiculous that someone would drink water that came in a bottle. There were a few "more fortunate kids" (as I will call them), who would carry these bottles of water around. I could not for the life of me, figure out why someone would be so vain, or at least that is what I thought at the time. To good to drink from the faucet. Well folks, I am now a bottled water drinker. My lame excuse? I grew up in Podunk where the water tasted good, not so much here. I have to force myself to choke it down.

*Warning* The following may sound like a shameless plug for Aquafina. I am not a employee of theirs, nor are any of my family or friends. However, if the fine people at Aquafina would like to furnish me with an endless supply of their water, I will shout out their name in the streets every day. Great people of Aquafina, you can reach me at 1-800-H2O-psycho.

I am a water snob. I refuse to drink water from a faucet, unless I am truly dyeing of thirst. The only water in a bottle that I have found to be very good, is Aquafina. This is some high quality H2O. It is the only water that I have found can still taste good, even if it is room temperature. Okay, the only bottled water. There is one other type of water out there that is great. A friend of mine has PiMag water, and it is superb. She keeps her PiMag Aqua pour right on her counter. It is so great, it does not have to be cold to drink it.

I am looking for a Waterboy. I need my high quality H2O. I spend to much time and money chasing down my Aquafina. I have put numerous calls in to Bobby Boucher and I have not heard back from him yet. I am not sure, but may be his Mama or Vicky is monitoring his calls, and will not give him the message. Whatever the case, I am getting desperate, and can not wait much longer. I would prefer that you have a serious love for water like Bobby does, and will work for free. He would not want me to have to drink nasty water, and neither should you. Seeing me enjoy your delicious water, should be the only payment you need. I will need references and I will be doing a serious back ground check on you. This is a highly important job, and I will only accept the best. You should be able to turn my toilet water into gold if I ask you too. Tap water scammers need not apply.

Have a fabulous Thursday!

4 comments:

First Time Mommy said...

Good luck finding your waterboy! L*O*L! You crack me up!

Have a great day!!

Tracy said...

I am a fan of Evian myself...

Good luck with your applicants!!

L*O*L

Paula said...

Mama says foosball's the devil. I like water too. It is good for me, and very important for my existence. I am glad that you have found yourself and have acknowledged your need for H2O. Vicky Valencourt would be proud.

Kerrie said...

YOU - are a dork....and you crack me up.