Handbook for male excuses?

A fellow blogger had wrote something on her blog about something funny her kid had said. It reminded me of some of the funny excuses Tanner has come up with over the years. I had almost forgot about it until today when Tanners pal Wesley came over to play. I will get to that in a minute, but first I wanted to list a couple of my all time favorite Tanner excuses that cracked me up!

Me: Tanner! How many times do I have to tell you not to cover up the heat vents with your hot wheels?

Tanner: I didn't do it. Sadie did. (Sadie being our dog.)

Me: Wow! She is pretty talented. Look how she got them all in a perfectly straight line! (Thinking to myself, we could get rich off of this dog! lol)
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Me: Tanner! Quit that! (as he is rough housing with Sadie. Suddenly, he slams into my vacuum and knocks it over, breaking the latch that keeps in in the upright position.) Now look what you did! Why do you think I told you to quit?

Tanner: Sadie pushed me.
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Me: Tanner! What did I tell you about having all the lights on in the house?

Tanner: I didn't turn them on, Sadie did. (Okay, this kid really needs a sibling.)
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While we are on the subject of excuses, here are some of my favorite that have come out of Al's mouth. Two of my favorites were excuses he gave for when he wrecked the race car.

Excuse one: The sun was in my eyes.
Excuse two: My glove got stuck in the steering wheel.
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Tanner: Who ate the rest of my sub that was in the fridge?

Al: Sadie did. (Man, I really need to get this dog on Letterman!)
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All right. Now for the reason I remembered all of this today. Hopefully you won't find this offensive. It is just my sense of humour and it was not meant in a mean way.

Me: Hi Wesley. I am glad to see you came over today. Did you walk today? Tanner said you never come over because you don't want to walk.

Wesley: No. My mom gave me a ride.

Tanner: He doesn't walk because of this. (pointing to a scar on Wesley's forehead.)

Me: How did that happen?

Wesley: I hit it one time when I was in the gym, that is why I don't walk.

Me: So, what? Did you get brain damage or something and you don't know how to cross the street? (I know, but it was the first thing that came out of my mouth.)

Wesley: No. My Dr. said that it will get sensitive when it is cold out.

Me: Well, if that is what your Dr says, then I guess you should run with it. So what are you guys going to do? Play games? (meaning ps2.)

Tanner: No, we are going to play on the snow pile.

Me: (to Wesley) Make sure you put on your stocking cap. I wouldn't want your scar causing you problems.

Wesley: I will. (I am almost rolling on the ground in laughter at this point.)
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Okay, so I hope that didn't offend you. I didn't think it was funny that he had gotten hurt. I found it funny because he doesn't walk because it is cold, however he can play outside and it doesn't bother it. He wasn't even wearing a hat. You know how kids can be. Or, should I say men. It seems that every guy I know has an excuse for everything. No offense guys, but you sure can come up with some doozies! There must be a machine that they hook the boys up to when they are born, that automatically files an excuse log in their brain. Mmmmmm, I think I am going to have to do some detective work! Wish me luck!