Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Tanner's visit

Its late. I have something on my mind. Its bothering me. I have purposely kept my rants of this kind from becoming a post. I don't intend to make it a habit, but I hope putting it out there will help, at least for tonight. So I can get some sleep.

Tanner just came back from a 2 week stay at his moms. He generally stays for a better part of the summer, but this year he didn't want to. We have been telling him its his decision. We don't want to keep him from his mom, but at the same time, if he doesn't want to go, we stand behind him. Its come to a point were I am ready to say no more.

The reason his summer stays are becoming shorter are because of the mental abuse he has to endure while he is there. His step dad is not very nice to him. He does things to deliberately be mean to Tanner. Here is what Tanner told me about his most recent visit.

First night there...All the family are enjoying an ice cream bar. Step dad tells Tanner he doesn't get one. Just because Tanner was clipping his toenails and didn't come immediately when called.

One day, Tanner wanted to go over to a buddies house. 5 year old brother wants to go with and Tanner says no. Next day, Tanner is eating cereal and trying to feed 5 month old sister. He asks his 5 year old brother to hold the bottle until he finishes his cereal. Brother yells down to step dad asking if he has to feed sister. Step dad says no. Tanner asks if he can just hold it until he finishes breakfast. Step dad says no. Brother shouldn't have to help you because you wouldn't take him with you to your friends house.

And the one thing that really burns my bottom.....Tanner has a name when he is there. And its not Tanner. Its retard. Tanner said he was only called by his real name may be 3 times. Step dad got mad because he didn't come right away when called retard. Step dad says you will come when I call your name. And that name is retard.

What does his mom say about all this? Nobody is forcing you to come here.

What do I say about all this? Somebody may just start forcing you to stay here.

To step dad....Your a real big man.

7 comments:

First Time Mommy said...

I can see why all this is bothering you! How horrible and sad! No child should have to endure that and I can see why Tanner wouldn't want to stay there. Poor kid! Step dad sounds like a real piece of....work!

At least Tanner is home now with you guys...a place where he is loved and well taken care of!

Anonymous said...

You just broke my heart. He doesn't deserve to be treated that way (no one does). Plus, his mom doesn't deserve to have him visit if she isn't going to stand up for Tanner. He needs to be home with you guys where he knows he is loved and wanted. They are jerks (I wanted to type something else).
Susan

Tracy said...

WTF?

That is ridiculous. Mom has NO RIGHT to see Tanner if that is they way he is treated there.

That burns my bottom and he's not even mine!

Hang in there!! Tanner knows where he is safe and loved.

Tess said...

I know - breathe, Breathe!
Tanner, you no longer should go see this woman that gave birth to you.. She is no more of a mother to you than toilet water. As far as the loser of a step dad, I would love to get my hands on him.. Tanner, you have a loving family (Dad and Mom Miah) no need to go through that. I hope they read this because they are both simply put - LOSERS and don't deserve to have a child in their home. I am sorry for Tanner as I am sure he doesn't understand completely (Like any of us normal parents do?? HOW COULD A PERSON DO THAT???).. Ok, I am really really mad..
I would not let him go there anymore. No child needs that type of abuse. And that is what it is. Don't give them a second thought, they are both wastes of space and always will be.. He knows what love is, from the house he lives in all the time - thankfully!
Ok, I am really pissed, how could they???? I don't know how you kept so calm in your post.. I have to stop writing.. It is getting worse and I am going to explode!

Kerrie said...

Ohmygosh. OH.MY.GOSH! I don't even know what to type.

I want to run to your house to give him a hug and kiss his head, but I know you've already done that.

I want to run to your house to tell him he never has to go there again, but I know you've already done that.

I want to run to your house to give you a hug because my friends feelings are hurt.

I'm sorry that your son's (because I know you don't feel that Tanner's a step) step dad is a FREAKIN' JACKASS!

Don't allow that ass to write on the wall of who Tanner is. Don't let Tanner go anymore.

Jamie said...

Oh man, that is just TERRIBLE!! I never knew things were that bad for Tanner....which is too bad. Tara better open her eyes before she loses her son because of this.

Tell Tanner we love him and he IS NOT A RETARD AND NEVER TO ANSWER TO THAT NAME AGAIN!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

"We don't want to keep him from his mom"

Don't you mean birth mother? Your his MOM!

Darwin